I can feel my brain throbbing. It is causing my pain on a daily basis. Something is pushing and twisting. That darkness within me is spreading. I feel my wants and needs to be shifting. Yes I am becoming stronger, but I am not sure what is me and waht is it that is causing my strength.
I need help. For once, the helper of the city, the one who would offer her own safety in cause for another must ask for help. Denenthorn is trying but it is difficult to understand what he tells me.
I am not sure who to go to, or where to find the help I need. The books re not speaking to me the way they would. They have not the answers I seek. Selk'Tar'Oth is unknown... much too vast for anyone to concieve and yet I understand it to a degree.
I fear still that I will lose myself soon... and I am not sure who will be able to bring me back.
I suppose with this time I have free to write that I should put down what I know of it, perhaps a bit of oganization is what I need in these difficult times.
It goes by the name of Selk'Tar'Oth. It is an entity that has lived far beyond what this universe has known. It is evil, yet its wants over power the need to be evil. It knows that it has time and is very patient. I think that patience is what will damn me. It has unmistakable power yet through its life has been bored and is now allowing the effects of natural balences to take place. It will protect me at all costs unless it feels those costs are something it might gain from. It is hungry for knowledge as I am hungry to learn yet with it sharing my mind it is weakened. I have the capcity to push it back but not always to control it... I need to learn this control, I need to learn to push it back and keep it back until I wish it to come forward.
I believe a journey is in order.
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