The Return

Apparently he had been in the city long enough to survey the area, even talk to a few citizens. It was not until one of my personal prized possessions was missing did I find that he had returned.

I had walked into the library looking to take the stress away from the city, curl up by the fire and open my personal copy of Hamlet, something that I have kept with me in life and was delivers to me after my rebirth. When I found it missing I was very unnerved, no one knew where I had hid it, no one could have known it was behind the first two editions of Biochemistry of the Hatch ling Magpie and the sixth edition of Practical Alchemy. Someone had looked for it and meant to take it, I had not a clue why, it was only important to myself.

Regardless I had to find it and quickly, I did not want to make a fuss so I went to see the only person I could trust with finding such a personal object, Vivi. I headed for the church and stood a bit to let Denny and Vivi bicker on about something, I was most preoccupied with my thoughts to have paid close attention. After a bit of light banter I requested Vivi to scry for my book. I do not trust magic so much bt I recall it being rather effective in the past.

She worked quickly and it only took moments to find that it was a man wearing a hat with a noose around his neck who had stolen it. This description meant nothing to me but it bristled Denny quite a bit.

It was soon explained that a man named Michon had stolen it. This was a name I had not heard or even muttered since my life. It stung deeply and worried me that it was so possible for my past to have returned.

I admit, my reaction was... ungraceful, even rude. Denny was keeping something from me and this infuriated me even more. I know now that he was trying to protect me...but I escaped my wrath inflicting others and quickly and traveled to the hospital roof for some peace. I had to think because Denny must have been lying Michon had been long dead now.

Dearest Mina followed me, she wanted to know that I was alright. I stood there, staring out over the city, but not at anything. My mind was exploding within myself, Selk'Tar'Oth screaming at me for blood, myself trying to understand. Mina was struck by my hand when she tried to comfort me. I was losing it already and quickly apologized. She replied saying it was nothing to be concerned for, but her words did not register. She asked if I wanted to talk, the least I could do was oblige her... my death is not uncommon knowledge.

I told her that once I loved a gentleman, the man who took me away from the asylum, took care of me, loved me... that he went mad in the middle of one of my... episodes and had no choice but to put me out of my misery. Of course... it was his form of mercy towards me that three blows to the head with a lead pipe would do it. But he did love me, I know it, why did he have to end my existence?

Denenthorn had been listening... he spoke, "Because he was under orders to do such a thing..."

This struck me hard, I had been given orders before, for the Illuminati, for the House. But the way Michon loved me could not have been orders.

Denny spoke again at my denial and my questioning, ""He was under orders to do this.... because you created something.... cause you had to be an artist...Skilled enough to catch the eyes of your current benefactors and my former employers...Michon was merely a tool.... a catalyst...." he murmured, "It was not Michon who decided you needed to die.... in truth he is not the reason you're an angel.... just the cause....""

My head was swimming, who, why? What in the world could I have done to deserve such treatment? What did being an artist have to do with anything, Michon truly loved me, he was stressed over his work, my health, and our state of living, he did not have a choice, how could it have been orders? Everything gushing through my thoughts at once was making me light headed and I dared to not stand for this news, it was a weakness but one I think Mina and Denny understood. I demanded to know who gave the order.

Denny looked dead on into my eyes, "Me."

I denied it and he refused this, stating it was of his bosses order but that he was the one that had to give it to Michon, due to my Masterpiece. Because I created something that this world should not know about, because I created something that I should not have even imagined, because my Father had to give me a gift in remembrance. Because I was a mortal, I would not have time to finish my Masterpiece and the Illuminati wanted control over its power because... apparently, upon its completion, Selk'Tar'Oth would rise and the Order wanted that power.

This news was ridiculous, over my head, inconceivable, out of my realm... but completely true. I needed a moment to recalculate my entire existence.

Through the dust that has settled

A new Toxia arises.

Soon after the city was shaken, nearly to the ground, there was an abundance of power swelling through the city. Whispers spread, turning to chit chat, then idle talk, soon became yelling and shouting for vengeance and congratulations for new found homes.

Thusly, the Toxian shuffle occurred. Denny moved to the Church, Lorne moved to the lIbrary, Jaco succeeded over all else and runs the Voo Doo shop, as Dio must have rushed passed Kishi's temper to take the throne of the Pit; possibly dodging a new woman named Calypso who takes charge of the Garage.

Though these times for the library are new still, it goes without question that the library has sustained well. We have taken in many new members and have run story telling once more. I must confess though, his magic has caused me to consider tying these new fangled, fabric softener, static cling fighting, dyer sheets to my wings.

Uncommon vacation

A week went by and I was not here, instead Selk'Tar'Oth walked for a time in my body. There was little I could do but I could see it all. I curse my body for being so powerless against her, or is it powerful because of her. No matter.... this thing that is entangled with my brain, capillaries, nervous system, and soul might be the death of me.

She took the innocence away from my beloved Librarians, tore them out to the city for hell bent disgusting activities. She went and threatened the church, even Denny and she wished to congratulate the new Shadow Lord... one whom I have even yet to meet,

She pushed Wotan into a battle of wits among countless others, she ruined my body with so much activity.... though unfortunately this city appeased her and she will not leave it yet as she had planned. She knows there is still something there.... I feel it as well...

I feel my mental capacity is fading, I cannot tell which way is up or down, left or right, good or evil. My head still swims in the toxic ocean and think I left the kettle on. Needless to say Selk'Tar'Oth has left me lost and very confused.

An age of change

The dust is clearing. settling slowly and I am left still in the dark.. I do not know what it is that happened in this city but it feels as though an earthquake as shaken its very roots. There are citizen meandering about calling out names that go unanswered.

Finally I step back to the library, the on place that seemed spared. I walk through its doors finding a strange glowing glyph on the floor and books circling about. The walls rattle as a voice swells and I can feel an energy from the second floor.

I do not hear or feel Denenthorn around in this place... again there is a presence... someone... or something is missing, but I cannot lay my finger upon what it was... it seemed stronger yesterday and that it had a name... but today... oh that was no matter there was a definite disturbance in the library and it was hardly the time to try and remember.

Where in the world was Denny, of this a Toxian marked moment, we needed a leader present and I am incapable of rising to it.

As I stand to face this voice... this presence Jhura is standing, looking defensive but speaking offensively. He calls for the voice to show itself and I am too busy tilting my head in wonderment to tell him that I recognize it as Lorne. It is only when he pops into existence that I remember my notes of him.

Jhura draws his weapon, ready to take his head off and I raise my own hand, asking him to wait. This is no time to be chopping off heads of friends, this is a time when we must band together to create a logical conclusion to everything that has shaken this city.

At my asking he holds back, Lorne is explained in the quickest way to Jhura but it is then I beg for Lorne to speak. His eyevoids lock a moment on me, a case where a long time ago I would have shuttered, change can make the weakest bold.

Lorne speaks, his voice neither of care or hurtful intention. He speaks of something that I hardly understand, weylines... and things planted so long ago when the End still took solace in these walls. My head was swimming... I had to step out.

Now I must find my own answers. I must ask Denny and ask Lorne what has become of the library and who I should follow. Denny is my leader, always has been and Lorne... most respected but always to be with the Coven... I know they both had such strong ties to the library, but it was before my time... I only have stories to go from... I need first hand facts now or I may never be able to settle.

All at once this has come crashing in upon myself and my librarians... I owe them an explanation. For all that they have done for me, I owe them at least a story. Perhaps it is something the Masters proclaimed, it would not be the first time they kept secrets from me... and if that is the case I will stand my post lest I be killed for abandoning it, or my time has ended and it is one for the Master to hand me my last syringe, I hope to spare my life at least.

One more story, either to my own end or my beginning with so many more.

A year come and gone.

One year in Toxia, or would it be best said one mile... Approximately how many miles I have walked in this city I have not a clue. I have met many friends, many enemies, and have done away with filth that I cannot stand. I have risen above, fallen far below, and have come to level out where I am. I can say that this place is strange how much I loathe it, yet find myself living out each day here to the best of my ability.

While my time is becoming more constrained due to a sense of over establishment with my quantumn personality, I have stepped down from second in command but I will keep to the library in my best capacities as it is the only place I may call home.

I must admit, it will be nice to breathe without Denenthorn hanigng over my head, he has just moved to my shoulder which suits me well enough.


The library is changing once more, this time I feel it is for the better. We have so many new faces, so many new things to witness, I want to watch it grow and I think the librarians want to see this as well. With my step down I can only think that the library will step up as a whole.

I am... interested to see what this shift will do with the rest of the city.

Death again

I was stabbed.... a most unusual feeling thought it hardly lasted long. Before I knew it I was back in the waiting room, waiting. It seemed a bit brighter this time and once more nothing was there for a long time. It seemed like years until Selk'Tar'Oth came to me. She sauntered to me and crosses her arms, looking down at me shaking her head.

"You are trouble..." she said to me.

"Yes, you give me more trouble though I am sure." I replied.

"No... I have curbed my wants to respect to you and what I have seen of your... friends. We made an agreement, we will keep to it as long as you uphold your end of the deal."

I looked at her in confusion shaking my head, "But you have not even told me what that is."

"One knows, that is all that is required." she grinned at me, bending down to meet my gaze as her fingers traced over my curling creeping tattoos. "Have you ever looked closely at these? Do you remember ever receiving them? Do you remember anything about them?" she asked knowingly.

I looked down and shook my head, "You control my subconscious and my memories... you can only tell me what is truth, what I remember, what my past is... even if you twist it to your whim."

She cackled and let her long fingers curl around my hand. "Have one of those metal men look at you more closely, then you might have a lead." she chittered and suddenly tugged my hand. She fiercely pulled my hand into herself and again I was met with light and breath. In my head lingered, "Your knight needs you."

I opened my eyes to again see my reviver, Denenthorn standing over me. My head is swimming still... I remember the assault and I have handled it the way I do, by not showing anything.

However, an attack is not so uncommon, what is uncommon is that there was no known motive... all we have of any lead is a plastic rose... I fear this will be difficult to solve.

Thusly

The times have been rough. All that seems to be on anyone's lips are I need to speak with... blank. Or there is no one in the library when .... blah. Really now, there are not so many librarians in the city, we cannot be there all the time, we are only volunteers to this city... we do not get paid, in fact were threatened daily. Goodness, it is high risk being a citizen, it seems as though it is even worse being a librarian. We have a price for information, just as any one else would charge for a service... we cannot be expected to just give out information willy nilly... or just as easily as one seems to have the ability to find a drink in the bar...

But really... one would threaten the library or a librarian when there is little left to threat? The building has stood for years before and will stand after. Anyone harmed can be mended in some way, save for the few that seem to truely die and disappear, it was simply their time. The whole threat angle steadily becomes less and less of a concern... one cannot gather information from a dead person as is someone is less willing to give out information when something is amiss.

Why do the citizens not just come politely, get what we ask for in return of information and leave? It is really a simple policy that many seem able to abide by
and has worked in the past, why are there still a few that continue to fight? I must admit it is much like bashing one's head against a post as they seem to turn
a deaf ear.

*Reads back a bit*

Goodness, perhaps Toxia has changed my outlook on things. I suppose however, one can only expect personalities to rub off upon another, Denenthorn would be no exception towards me... he has shown me an amount of bravery in words, even if there is a bit of hiding involved with it; I am no fool.

A most strange occurance though, Dio has shown me something of great value, a very strange book intended for memories. It is a wonderment that he has established it this far however, he owes me two books still in return for the one he has changed. I will have to remember to go to him and collect that which is rightfully mine.

It is also most strange that when the library is open nearly 24/7 how when we close it for twenty minutes that is the time everyone wishes to enter it.

I have so much more to write, but the time is for rest now.