Sleepless

I did not want to go to sleep that night. Selk'Tar'Oth released me just in time for bed, with quiet words she spoke to me, "I have so much to show you." I was so tired, I felt as though I had been stretched and pulled in so many directions. My body worn and scratched. I felt bruises everywhere as though I had been fighting. I only saw glimpses from my time in the void, only faces, brief words, she had planned this I am sure.

I lay under the covers, staring at the ceiling, straining to keep my eyes open. I saw the glow of my light dimming, wavering, and before I could stop it I fell asleep.

Selk'Tar'Oth came to me immediately. She was smiling that wicked grin I loathe and despise. Something had gone wrong. I cannot control her but she occasionally listens to my requests. I asked her not to kill anyone. She laughed and said not a word. I stood naked again in empty darkness but she danced around me, a wretched ballet dance that whirled my senses. She came to me and wrapped her arm around my shoulder, her icy finger tips making me shiver. She waved her hand before my eyes and in a moment I saw what had happened.

She stood in the barber shop, drawing her mark on the dusty mirror until Cid came in. Oh dear Cid, so pent up in his heroism to not realize true danger. Words were exchanged, warnings ignored, I cannot fathom what he thought would happen but Selk'Tar'Oth heeded my wishes and did not kill him, though I could feel her rage and frustration at my wish.

I then saw another, dressed in purple and top hat, a familiar shape but the madness had taken him over. I shuddered violently to hear that laugh again. She toyed with him and he followed, the fool followed her. Again words were exchanged but my wish seemed pushed aside. This crazed man and she fought hard, or played with each other; it was difficult to tell. Selk'Tar'Oth was somewhat pleased by this.

As I see these images much is hazy, I can tell she is leaving something out but I cannot look away or find the time to ask her for clarification.

More words... I cannot make them out, something about Denenthorn... a deal was lost it seemed.

Another scene, how long did she play? She is in the hospital, Cid is there speaking with someone in obvious pain. That voice, was it Pontifex? It is too difficult to tell and I cannot see, she had shrouded herself in darkness to keep hidden.

Another walks in, I can hear this voice clearly, as though darkness is matched I can hear it is Dio. She emerges from her shroud and bids Cid to leave upon the threat of death again. She knows that I care for my librarians and would be quite difficult to work with should one fall to her power. Cid leaves but Dio remains under the same threat. Her eyes turn now, I can see finally that it is Pontifex that lays in bed, ruined, beaten, with a patch over one eye.

She sauntered over and bid from Pontifex to awaken with not just her voice by her new toy... a striped cane that she hits powerfully on Pontifex's leg. He wails in pain, but does not seem to recognise me... or if he does he does not speak of it. I can feel that Selk'Tar'Oth is finally happy as I see her beating this man, the one who I am still very apprehensive of.

Dio takes an interest and moves dangerously close, he only watches as she climbs on top of Pontifex and rips his patch away. She pushes her finger into the wound that lays beneath, toying and playing with what flesh she finds there.

She pulls her fingers into what looks like a gun and I see from her eyes a motion that suggested she pulled the trigger then a very loud bang. The images blackens out and I jump at the sound, covering my ears a moment before looking to her. "You betrayed me." I say turning to face her.

She laughs at me again and tugs my shoulder, spinning me once and catching me up in a vice-like grip. She pulls me close and kisses the corner of my jaw as she takes up my hand in a waltz position and arranges my feet in step four. I feel suddenly very sick and weak as she pushes me to dance with her. She whispers to me, "I have betrayed many but you will find that he is not gone for long. However, I've made sure he will not forget me. If he's as strong as I've seen from your conversations, he will certainly have quite the beating for you if he figures it out..."

My body tightens and I shudder hard again at the thought of backlash, torment, misunderstandings and torture. I taste the bile that fills my mouth and cannot help but heave over Selk'Tar'Oth's shoulder. She laughs once more, shrieking in glee as she just continues her dance, forcing me to follow as my legs weaken and my shoulders slump.

She does not let me wake, the rest of the night is filled horrid words and dancing. By the end of my slumber, my dreaming feet are broken, my body torn, my mind frayed once more.

I do not know what I would do should I see Pontifex again. He might know me... he could easily find out.. I have faltered my sense of security in her matters and I cannot help but watch, most like a train wreck.